Non-Jews are for practice
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
