Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
