I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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