Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
