just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
