It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
