you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Randomize