Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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