She is in my trunk
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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