i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
