he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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