My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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