I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
