just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
