i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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