So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
