How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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