So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
