he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
