TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
