There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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