I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
