It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
