I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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