I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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