I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
