literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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