Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's always time for handjobs
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
