please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
