I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We had sex on a dog bed..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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