so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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