I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
