I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
