i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
