some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My liver just had a heart attack.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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