Quick, to the slutcave!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
