I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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