I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
