I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
