Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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