she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
