in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
