the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
tell me about the eggs
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