Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my shit smells like andre
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
