return my video game
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am naked and annoyed.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
