His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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