I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
