I just pynch a tree in the face
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
