She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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