She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
